SAF TO INTRODUCE ENHANCED SURVEILLANCE PROGRAMME ON NSFs

As part of the SMART nation initiative, MINDEF has announced that it will launch the CUM (constant universal monitoring) programme as early as October 2019.

After a deep analysis from the statistics provided from a 10 year long government data collection programme, results have shown that no matter how many times the sergeants remind stupid recruits not to take in-camp photos or keep pornography in their galleries, some idiot will still do it anyways.

SAF sergeants prowling in camp searching for recoots taking in camp photos or jerking off to some moist porno

As data suggests that the number of such incidents increases exponentially every year despite MINDEF investing immense amounts of resources to ensure NSFs do not continue to commit such heinous crimes, MINDEF has erected CUM as a last resort to curb this problem once and for all.

The CUM programme entails utilising spy apps that are to be installed in the mobile devices of NSFs to track their usage of smartphones. This is to deter NSFs from taking in-camp photos as well as storing and distributing ponography.

When asked to comment about this new policy, Captain Weng Keng replied: "CUM is an excellent measure introduced by our SAF generals and MINDEF overlords, you know ah whenever I tell those stupid recruits to not take in camp photos right, they still do it and post it on their Instagram stories, later kena get caught and charged, waste my breath sia." before proceeding with his wayang duties and arrowing all of his paperwork to his subordinates.

REC K.M Seng vehemently criticised this new measure saying: "It is unacceptable that SAF want to f*ck us over like that. Now I can't even watch my hentai anymore."

The new app is expected to receive a crowning ovation for its high tech tracking systems and algorithms, being able to immediately predict when an NSF is going to take an in-camp photo before the NSF can even form the thought with his pea sized brain, which is why it has already been nominated for the Nobel Prize in 2020, even before its debut.

New app able to predict animalistic instincts and behavioural patterns of NSFs through an MRI scan

Since MINDEF has blown 50% of its budget on CUM this year, the app will hopefully receive a better score than SGSECURE on the Google Play store, with the latter already being a masterpiece in programming technology.