MINDEF TO IMPLEMENT ADHD (AUTO DUMPING HARLOT DIRECTIVE) TO BOOST SAF MORALE

It is common knowledge that during the 2 years of NS, the girlfriends of NSFs are bound to dump them for men with more wealth, time and higher social status.

Many NSFs, who are big players in the game of dating might have to think twice once they are enlisted. In fact, they live in constant trepidation and paranoia that one day, their beloved girlfriends might be sucking off or riding on some stranger at a party where they obviously got too drunk at.

It is common for NSFs to wear the green hat (get cucked) especially during their first two months in the SAF

During a poll conducted by MINDEF in January this year to determine what are the most stressful things an NSF has experienced in his pathetic life, shocking results have shown that the fear of being cucked during NS is one of the most stressful things an NSF can experience, being seated at third place right behind A levels and missing 10 phone calls from his mother in the poll.

"This incessant fear of being cucked should and can be eliminated to ensure NSFs devote the entirety of their mind, soul and body to the training of the SAF, our NSFs should not even dwell on something as useless as a girlfriend, the nation comes first." adjured Dr Kok See Meng, department head of the human psychology and AI research team in ST Kinetics.

MINDEF has thus announced that they will be launching the ADHD (Auto Dumping Harlot Directive) to eliminate distress of NSFs with girlfriends by making it illegal for NSFs to engage in dating all together.

With this new initiative starting February 2020, NSFs who are caught dating will be fined a maximum of $50000 and/or face the wrath of the detention barracks for a maximum of 5 years. This aggressive and harsh policy will deter NSFs from engaging in dating with any female partners so as to prevent any altercations with the military law of the SAF.

The thought of having to enter SAFDB will send chills down the spine of any pathetic NSF who contemplates to break the military laws of the SAF, hence serving as a powerful deterrent to prevent NSFs from dating

Hopefully with the implementation of ADHD, NSFs will be so wary of dating that they will instantly repel any female who comes into their vicinity, allowing their minds to focus only on serving their beloved Singapore.

PTE Lee, who had several flings with the ladies due to his Adonian features, was the first to experience a trial test of this new policy when he was caught performing PDA with his 5th girlfriend at Khatib MRT in his No. 4 this friday. He was fined a whopping $15000 as a first time offender, meaning he will not be paid for the rest of his NSF days and was furthermore sent to the detention barracks for 3 weeks. He was reported to have tried committing suicide there, but unfortunately failed and another 5 weeks was added to his sentence.

Hopefully this will be a warning and a lesson to all NSFs who actually try to enjoy their private lives as the mighty SAF is the gate and the key who watches over all. Miscreants who fail to serve the nation having puny emotions such as love or fear, will be dealt with accordingly with this new policy.